Therapy and the road to self betterment



   Dear Readers,

This blog is about my struggle with Anxiety. Yes, it is a very real thing. It's something I've struggled with since I was very young.

Recently I've starting seeing a Psychologist. He's one of the senior staff of the psychology team and he's very good at what he does.

As I ponder about what anxiety actually is, my mind has been creating some very interesting theories or ideas as to what happens to cause me to go into such panic. I've been trying to observe patterns and behaviors of other people that sometimes "set me over the edge" and how I respond on the outside and how I feel on the outside. It has been most instructive and interesting to see how my body and my emotions go hand in hand.

I've noticed that the emotion ANGER is my top emotion. Everything makes me angry.
People make me angry, money makes me angry, life... makes me angry, and I wonder why anger triggers anxiety for me. I'm normally not an angry person. I am usually happy and am able to cope with certain situations. But in the past 2 years, I've become more and more angry. Is there some physiological issues- could be part of it, but I don't think that's 100% of the problem. I believe it's much deeper than that.

As much as anger is my top emotion, fear, disgust and sadness also play a part in my "anxiety". Anxiety I've decided is not an emotion. It is a response to an overstimulus of emotion.

When I get all worked up, I create anxiety for myself
If that's the case, maybe I need to take anger management lessons.

My mother in law is the one who calls/ starts taking, and if we don't speak, she thinks we're mad at her.
I get mad when I am around her